Green Ass

Let me break it down for you. I know that some of you have been in a relationship a long time. Some feel that it has gotten a little stale. And some have been quarantined a little too long. And then you start to wonder about the other side. The other side? You know, the grass on the other side. Or in this case…the ass. My practice has increased almost 30% because of COVID. And what I am seeing most, is domestic discord. It’s a trap!

I have written about this many times. But with the quarantine, I feel it is worth talking about again. The grass looks greener on the other side. It is well tended to. It is temping you. After all, who doesn’t love the feel of fresh soft grass under their bare feet? But now you’re looking at another person from your side of the fence, you’re wondering what they would be like? Would that experience be fun and exciting? Maybe you’ve slide into someone’s DM’s? Maybe sent a sexy picture or sexted? The ass is greener on the other side. Or is it?

I get it. Long term relationships take commitment. And for many, the allure of something new can prove to be too much. But here is the thing. Unless you’re honest with yourself about what you want, you will continue to be disappointed in green ass. Because we’re not just talking about sex. We’re talking about intention. Trust me, I am in no way saying you shouldn’t experience different relationships. I am saying be honest. You want to take a different person out every night? Let your freak flag fly. Just be cool about it. Be honest and up front. You want out of your relationship? Have a conversation first, and then do it with dignity and class.

Is the ass greener on the other side? Yeah, in some cases it can be. But many times, all we’re doing is talking about something different. Not better, although most new relationships operate off of a euphoric sexual high. But given enough time, the high becomes a medium. Not always. But as the newness dies down, your standing at your fence again, looking at another yard.

Green ass. I get the allure. I just don’t get the illogical thinking. Leaving a committed relationship over a fantasy. People are very different online, than in person. Online, you take 20 photos, and then send the best one. In person, you can’t photo shop. Online, you can edit before you hit send. In person, the words leave your mouth, and you can’t take them back. Online, you’re not disrupted by the kids, work and the bills. In person, you realize that they make up 90% of your day.

So think about it. Sometimes leaving is a viable option. But leaving for some green ass is rarely a good option. And the quicker you get hip to that fact, the quicker you’ll save yourself some heartache.