More Money. I Don’t Need.

You know my story. I put in 14-18 hours a day Monday thru Thursday. While I am blessed to have such a thriving practice, it is a grind. I do it because I see the work as sacred. But come the weekends, I crash. I am lucky to have a wife who brings balance to my life. She too, is easy like a Sunday morning. But this week as the bullets were flying, I doubled down on what I do every day. I meditate.

Last week I was in the middle of the grind, and last minute, one of my clients cancelled. It happens from time to time, but for whatever reason, I thought about my wants. My thought process was that I should go to my wait-list and fill that appointment time. By doing so, I could still make money. Then I thought, I don’t need more money. I want more money. But in reality, I need more sleep. Sure, who doesn’t want more cash. The beauty of meditation, we learn to override our wants, and focus on our needs. 

When I reflect back  on 3 and a half decades of mental health work, I see much induced pain. Pain that is brought about by self infliction. I think we’re all guilty of it. But at what point do we stand and deal? When do we place value on our peace? One of the classic scenarios I see play out over and over again is a high tolerance for bullshit. Let’s jump into it.

She came to me because she had experienced 10 years of less than fulfilling relationships. It took about 2 sessions, before she understood that she was settling for guys who did not show her the respect that she craved and deserved. But because she didn’t want to be alone, she stayed in unproductive relationships. The look on her face, when she realized that she was actually afraid to be alone. She wanted to be in a relationship. But she didn’t need to be. And that’s when it became a problem. She opted for her want, over her need. And despite it being less than a healthy option, in her mind, sitting at home alone on Saturday night was more terrifying.

 We have got to get back to our needs. It is okay to live a life that others don’t understand. We live within ourselves 24/7. The focus should always be healthy. You may want that relationship. You may want more money. But every time we choose our needs, we are literally sending out an affirmation for the entire world to see that we deserve. And no matter what we’ve done, we do…deserve.

Wants can be a motivation. And there is nothing wrong with splurging on ourselves. Make needs {self care} the norm. But trust me, in the case of my client, 10 years of putting the needs of others first, led her to one realization. That she deserved to be happy. And my prayer today, is that you realize that too.