Same Song. New Dance.

I think one of the greatest compliments I get is, when people are shocked that my wife and I have been together for nearly 20 years. I hear things like, I thought you were newly dating, or they ask how long we’ve been dating. They naturally assume because we get along so well, that this is a new relationship. I tell them, new dance, same song…

Have you ever come across that couple that has been together for awhile, and all they do is fight? Or maybe they don’t fight, but they seem to have given up on the notion of romance, intimacy and love. You got to dance, baby! You have to find ways to inspire each other. Build each other up. Give them a reason to want to be with you. To be proud. 

My wife and I have rituals that keep our love alive. Despite the fact that she is a bomb ass chick, and I am the most laid-back person you will ever meet, we work at our relationship. We dance. And while we are known to slow dance for no particular reason, be it in the kitchen or bathroom for example, we flow with the energy of life. And when the flow is no good, we lean into our rituals. 

Everyone has to find what works for them. In our house though, we talk {and listen} to each other. So many couples overlook this fundamental principle for longevity. It is respectful, and it validates our partners matters. My wife and I bond spiritually. We include daily prayer with each other. We also collect crystals, meditate, light candles and do house blessings. But perhaps the biggest blessing, is that we never say no. Whatever she wants, the answer is yes. Whatever I want, the answer is yes. It may take a minute to get there, but we always do.

All I am saying is that you need to pour into your relationship in a way that makes sense to you. Not your friends, family or co-workers. But to the both of you. So dance. It may be the same old song. But your dance should continue to change. Otherwise, one or both of you will leave the dance floor.