Limp

Every week I limp across the finish line. I want to finish strong. But some weeks, it is all but impossible. What am I talking about? My why. 

Every Monday thru Thursday, I work 14-18 hour days. {I’m not kidding.} Friday thru Sunday I put another 12-15 hours in. And I do this for multiple reasons. The biggest one is my wife. When she became fully disabled, my first thought was, if she is going to be in pain, I will do my best to give her comfort in any way I can. And with her level of pain, money is the vehicle to do just that. My other why is my chosen profession. 35 years in mental health has been my calling. It is as much in me, as my blood. I couldn’t leave it if I tried.

I recall when I walked away from my job around age 40. I had more than enough money and real estate, that I decided to retire. I remember taking my pager {yes, I am that old} and throwing it into the water. I felt relived. No more middle of the night calls. No more emergencies. No more death. Silly me. That lasted all of 2 years. You see, if it’s in you, it’s of you. You cannot escape you’re calling.

So everyday I wake up and hit the gym between 4:30 and 5:30 in the morning. And then I’m off. Out the door to do a crazy 8 at work, and then back to the office for another 6-10. I start the week in an all out sprint. By Thursday, your boy is limping. Don’t get me wrong. There is plenty of beauty in my life. In fact, all of it is. But the limp is the price you pay for feeling fully alive. Wife and work is why I do it. Others do it for their children. And yet others do it for any number of reasons. The point is that the passion will out last the pain. Passion will get you out of bed.

I ask you. What would you limp for?