Today, You Are Not A Victim

I Am Grenada

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Allister Amada Spoken Word Contest Winner

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I Am Grenada

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Trauma is real. Pain is real. PTSD is real…but, so is healing.

So many of us decide to define ourselves as victims, because we refuse to let go of the pain. We think about it, talk about it and relive it daily. And when we are consumed by the pain, we allow no room for healing. And while trauma can be a life long emotion, it should not be our defining emotion. There are tools to get better. Yes, it is a process, and not everyone will make it back. But on the road to recovery, every advantage you can take is significant. So take them.

I am not a psychologist. But after spending 35 years working in mental health, almost my entire inner circle comes from a mental health background. And very few would disagree about the power that each one of us has. The human mind {and body} is capable of doing remarkable things. But what it can’t do, is override a day in day out programming of the trauma. We have got to train ourselves to move through it. Talking about it non stop takes a situation that already feels like a 100 pounds, and makes it feel like 300 pounds. We’re just adding weight to the long road to recovery.

Talking about our problems can be very therapeutic. The problem with talking about those problems, is that the more we speak about it, the bigger it becomes. Set aside time in a safe environment to vent. Therapy, support groups and a strong social circle will help. What wont, is using words that don’t empower you, or talking about it in a non safe environment. Because sometimes some well meaning people, say something that can set you back or trigger you. Know the players.

Know the environment.  Your biggest asset is the language you use. The power of saying “I am”, is a game changer. So make sure it is followed by something empowering. And while you’re at it, drop the hate. Perhaps the most profound words I’ve heard on the subject come compliments from the Buddha. He said “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You have a say in your story. You are the author. Write accordingly. 

You may have been victimized. But today, you are not a victim. Your story begins with this moment and the words “I am”. Now ask yourself, “What are you today?”

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142 Comments

  1. I Am Grenada on 01/31/2021 at 6:29 pm

    Thanks for sharing this blog Vance. I am an overcomer. I am blessed with the ability to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep moving. i must admit that I met people who have immense difficulty in doing just that. Some i believe like the sympathy and empathy others need serious medical intervention.

    Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. (this one got me, insane)



    • Vance Larson on 01/31/2021 at 7:50 pm

      Thanks for sharing a piece of your story. Stay strong!



      • Matthew Jones on 02/06/2021 at 2:23 pm

        Great story thank you for consistently releasing quality content



  2. Lincee St.Amand on 01/31/2021 at 7:39 pm

    Love this. Beautifully written and very informative!



  3. Cheryl Sawney on 01/31/2021 at 7:42 pm

    Nice article. I’m a believer in speaking positive things on my life and on the life of others. I also believe that there is power in our words, therefore, you’re on point about this. I am somebody. I am who God say I am. I am strong. I am beautiful………



  4. Christine on 01/31/2021 at 8:20 pm

    In this life we have to learn to encourage ourselves and be our biggest fan.



  5. Frank on 01/31/2021 at 11:44 pm

    Good blog as it reminds us of the struggles life can toss at us. Thanks for the motivation.



  6. Asha on 02/01/2021 at 6:49 am

    PTSD is real. Going through any trauma is life changing and tough. Look into your inner realm and you can triumph and heal. The process might not work as quickly as you want it BUT you will get through it. Forgiveness is hard but it’s the 1st step in the healing process. I truly loves these blogs because they inspire me to STAY strong and I’m NOT alone. Mr. Vance, thanks for the reassurances.



    • Vance Larson on 02/01/2021 at 7:26 pm

      I am honored by your words Asha.



  7. Janee on 02/01/2021 at 7:09 am

    Wow this was a great read, especially because it is relatable. Many of us have experienced traumatic experiences.



  8. Kyler on 02/01/2021 at 9:34 am

    This is so important! Many try to hold things in when discussing/ working through our trauma is what helps bring healing!



  9. Vance Larson on 02/01/2021 at 7:28 pm

    Agreed.



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    Wonderful article. Very informative continue posting such great articles.



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    • Vance Larson on 08/19/2021 at 8:28 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, Toni.



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